"This isn't the stuff we normally do for you guys that are buying this. This is what happens when you consume massive amounts of drugs and alcohol"

My mother was a douche bag
My sister was a douche bag
I guess that makes me one too

I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
Lord I just don't know what to do

I sold dynamite to the Arabs
Bullets to the Jews
Whiskey to the Indians
And I'll get you too

I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
Lord I just don't know what to do

Vinegar and water
The drink that I choose
I gotta tell ya brother
Tastes like pussy juice

Time flies when you're in a coma...